My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus
In our society today girls feel that they need to be skinny in order to find love. Fact is, your true love is gonna love you no matter what. If he cares about the size of your thighs more then the size of your heart…drop him my darlings as no man should make you feel bad about your size if he truly loves you <3
Reblog. Every. Single. Time.
This is so perfect and beautiful and wonderful
- Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue; July 9, 2014
Oh my god you guys this ad is from my country
And actually I’d like to point out one thing Jimmy Fallon may not have been aware of. Chinese kids receive red packets from all their adult relatives during Chinese New Year. We’re always taught to save it away, and sometimes our parents keep it for us.
It’s not uncommon to get at least SGD 100 a year - I regularly received a couple hundred every year myself, and kids with bigger extended families with stronger ties certainly regularly made a killing.
But for the sake of argument, let’s say that our kid only gets $20-50 a year. Since we start receiving from our very first New Year, it’s extremely likely that this kid would have had at least a couple of hundred dollars in his savings, if not in the thousands.
I know that’s not the point of the joke, but I just wanted to take the chance to explain that, actually, no, his savings may have been quite substantial.